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Jake 3 beses nagtangkang mag-suicide

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NI:Archie Liao

Bata pa lang si Jake Zyrus (dating Charice Pempengco) ay napansin na niya na may kakaiba sa kanya . Ito’y kumpara sa ibang kababaihan na kasing-edad niya.

Inamin niya ito sa panayam ni Toni Gonzaga sa vlog na Toni Talks.

“Probably a lot of people won’t believe me but I was five years old when I realized na I was really confused,” aniya.

Katunayan, sa pagbabalik-tanaw niya, ang una raw niyang crush noong Grade 1 ay isang babae.

Habang lumalaki rin daw siya at humaharap siya sa salamin ay feeling niya ay may weird sa kanya.

Ito rin ang dinala niya hanggang sa lumaki siya.Nagkaroon daw siya ng confusion at ‘denial’ sa kanyang pagkatao.

Ang ‘pain’at ‘struggle’ raw niya ay naging sanhi ng kanyang matinding depresyon. Nagsilbi itong dahilan upang tatlong beses umano niyang tinangka na wakasan ang sariling buhay. Ito’y sa kabila ng tagumpay na tinatamasa.

“I tried to kill myself three times, and I remember the last time that I wanted to kill myself because nasa isip ko ‘pag nag come out ako, it’s over, nasa isip ko at the time was other people,”pagbabahagi niya.

“The fear of acceptance, I didn’t want to disappoint David Foster, Oprah, my mother, the pressure of you fitting in as well. I remember standing in front of the mirror with all these people around me showing me photos of Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato and telling me that ‘Oh, be like this,’ or ‘You’re gonna do this.’ Fitting in, it was hard,” pahabol niya.

Dumating din daw siya sa punto na kinuwestiyon niya ang Diyos sa mga pasakit na dinaranas niya noon.

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Natatandaan pa raw niya nang ma-ospital siya sa Singapore after a suicide attempt .Dumalaw raw ang kanyang benefactor na si David Foster.

Hindi raw siya hinusgahan o sinumbatan nito. Ikinalugod din niya ang naging mensahe nito.

“Tonight, you don’t have to wear a dress.That was the first time that they let me wear something like that and that was a big thing for me. And I remember being comfortable,”ani Jake.

Para kay Jake, patuloy pa rin daw ang pakikipaglaban niya sa depresyon at sa mga taong humuhusga sa kanya.

“I definitely understand that some people have different beliefs or opinions, but sa akin, if you don’t understand me, just be kind to me. I think that’s the most important thing not just for the LGBTQ+ community, but for everything,”aniya.

2013 nang mag-out si Charice bilang Jake .Noong umpisa naging kumplikado raw ang lahat para sa kanya.

“I came out as a lesbian because naisip ko na ito ‘yung maiintindihan ng mga tao. I felt like I wasn’t just betraying myself but people as well for not telling them the truth,”bulalas niya.

Naging madali raw naman sa kanya ang transition process.

“The only hard part sa transitioning is kung ano ‘yung sasabihin ng mga tao, but the process itself was very easy. I remember I had my top surgery and I looked down and I remember being happy and it was one of the best days of my life,” ani Jake.

Wala raw naman siyang regrets sa naging desisyon niyang paga-out.

“Everything is possible now. I’m just really happy that I get to experience being the first on Ellen and Oprah and it will be forever in my heart and that will always be me whether Jake or Charice,”pagtatapos niya.

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